Breastfeeding

I wrote my first blog about nursing my son and about the experiences I had with nursing in public and my anxiety about it. This time I will continue discussing about my own issues with nursing and how I wish I'd listened to Doctors who warned me what would happen if I did not more or less force him to take more food.


As I wrote before, Adam began breastfeeding at 5 days old. He only had to go back to the bottle( formula) when I became ill a week after starting, he did get right back to nursing with no nipple confusion, he was on formula for 1 week. I tried pumping but strictly nursing worked for Adam and me. I had trouble adjusting to nursing around other people but after a few incidents I decided the world didn't control me so I fed Adam anywhere and everywhere. I stopped being self conscious and realized most of the stress was probably un warranted and once I understood some people really didn't care how I was feeding my son. That's what I want to share; my feelings and anxieties over public breastfeeding. 
When I first began nursing Adam I never went anywhere, I let my spouse do the shopping and at tax time ( out treat ourselves time), whatever I needed or wanted, I ordered online. When it came to take Adam to his 1 week checkup, I more or less begged to be put in a room, fortunately the nurse obliged. Adam's nurse peeked in now and again to see how I was doing, the sweating and anxiousness appeared so my spouse commented how I need to be left alone so I could relax. When the Dr. came in, Adam was still nursing but it didn't bother me because the Dr. kept eye contact with me and never mentioned what I was doing. She (the Dr.) asked why I didn't start after Adam was born to which I replied that I wanted to make sure I was ready and it was more relaxing to begin in my own home on my terms. I didn't go out again until Adam's 2 month check up, unless my Mom was in the hospital again and if i needed to nurse, I found an empty lounge or closed the curtain to my Mom's Er room; other than that, I stayed in or I would feed Adam first than made sure I was home in time for the next feeding.


It wasn't that I was afraid to nurse outside the home, I was just stressed because I know how some people view public breastfeeding and I always thought others were waiting for me to show skin or wanted to watch. I nursed as conservative as possible. My immediate family was very supportive and aided me in 'hiding' what I was doing but I was still stressing. My niece mentioned to me during one feeding that you can't even tell what I was doing since baby was covered and it just looked like I was comforting him. For some reason I had the bad habit of asking those around me if they mind if I nurse when I should of just did what I had to do. I think Adam was about 6 months old when I finally felt free of nosy people and lookers, minus the Social Security incident but I chalk that up to just losing my Mom and dealing with idiots. Adam nursed in grocery stores, box stores and at family gatherings. After awhile I stopped asking for 'permission' and just fed him; if I thought a family member would be bothered by it, I wouldn't ask, I'd just go sit in a bedroom. Outside gatherings were easier, if someone didn't like it then they had the option to leave, not me.
Some mothers won't nurse because they fear they have to change what they eat. Now while you should eat healthier and drink less caffeine, you don't have to make major changes. I like to eat shrimp and crabs, so I knew to eat them either after I just fed Adam just so my milk wouldn't upset his stomach. I even drank 1 beer ( oohh) at a hospital event given by the hospital Adam was born at. I got the okay from my OB who assured me that by the time Adam was ready to eat again, the alcohol would be out of my system. Only drink alcohol if given okay by the baby's Dr or a lactation specialist. I did not give up my chocolate or sodas, I did however cut back. I ate vegetables, drank plenty of water and juices and continued taking my prenatal vitamins but the hardest thing to do was to not pick up smoking again. During my pregnancies I always quit and then a few months later start up again but after # 5 I did not re start but I feared with the stress of a new baby and 2 small children along with the stress factors that I may pick it back up, I did not. I now have a very bad peppermint habit.

I never let anyone tell me how to breastfeed or what to eat, I did take advice in stride and if I ever needed an opinion or had a worry ,I would talk to other moms on involved with the La Leche League. There are lactation nurses but there are also regular moms who have much more experience than me and talk woman to woman, not professional to a dummy. Much more relaxing and personal not because they have to be nice or professional but because they understand and have been there. I did listen when told to buy gel pads, trust me, very soothing and milk bags too along with Lanosh
I just wish more moms would consider nursing their babies since it's more beneficial than formula and it's a very beautiful experience. I understand Nurses have a duty to ask if a mom wants to bottle or nurse but I do not believe a Nurse should harp on the issue, if a mom says no then leave it alone. You have a bit of time to change your mind, don't let anyone tell you differently, remember I began when Adam was 5 days old. Don't let anyone sway you on whether you want to nurse and use a bottle, or strictly nurse, it's your choice. Check with the Dr. on when it's best to begin using a bottle, if that's your choice. I'm not advocating using a bottle, but it is best to store milk just in case, I thought nothing could happen while I was nursing but it did. Maybe if I hadn't of been so hard headed and pushed a cup and table food maybe Adam wouldn't of had the issue he had. I try not to dwell on it and know that each baby handles the switch differently and while nursing babies do slim out during the switch to whole milk and more food, Adam lost too much for me. I was assured that his weight loss was partly the automatic changes and the stress of mommy being gone for a week.Look what I did, jumped the subject. Adam was nursed until he was 13 months old, had I not been hospitalized he my have went on longer. You see, I was sick for awhile and was misdiagnosed and on Feb 14, 09, I was admitted for and inflamed/infected gall bladder, to which I also had stones in my liver; causing me to turn a pretty shade of yellow. No more nursing, Adam was cut off right then and there. No saved milk, which he would never take a bottle anyway and he wasn't too keen on table food which wasn't a problem since he was the right weight for his age,so I didn't force him to eat, I let him eat table food whenever he wanted to which as about 2 times a day plus snacks. 
I nursed him one last time before I was transferred to another hospital and he looked at me like he knew something was wrong. With all the medications I was given it was determined that pumping would be unsafe so my spouse and daughter did what they could to nourish him for the week I was gone. Adam would only take three things; whole milk,potatoes and ice cream. My spouse and I contacted Adam's Dr and asked if she could prescribe Pediasure for his nourishment and hydration and medication for his newly constipation problem. I now knew why some specialists were stressing a cup and food; it wasn't that they had something against me strictly nursing and what they meant by having problems referred to his digestion and not his chewing. The Dr assured me that all is well and that he and his body would adjust to the change. I was not convinced. Here's what happened; Adam went from 22 lbs down to 15 and a half in a month. It took 3 visits with his Dr to finally get him into a specialist. As expected, this specialist blamed me to which I said hell no and blasted back that she better jump on his Dr since she refused to do anything and insisted he would catch up. 
It turned out that Adam was so backed up that there was no room for food and what was backed up was in fact taking what nutrients I was putting in him. He was so backed up, it dehydrated him to the point where his blood work mimicked a rare but deadly kidney disease. Thankfully after 1 week of miralax and the start of pediasure, his health turned around and in 6 months he was back up to 17 lbs. 
I was right. I asked about medicine for his constipation and nutritional drinks but  I was assured by his Dr and emergency room Dr's that he would bounce back. I called out the signs to each professional, dry patches of skin ( which I was right, they were dehydration patches), weigh loss too fast, severe constipation and foul smelling pee. I was right and the experts were wrong.
This is why I do suggest storing milk and work on that weaning process or at least stick to offering table foods no matter how tough it gets. I know I did nothing wrong but I still feel guilty about it. Adam no longer needs miralax and hasn't had pediasure in about 3 weeks and at age 3 is 31 lbs and has grown a lot. You cannot tell this boy ever had a medical issue. 


Nursing Adam out of the house was a learning experience for me and my daughters, including my two younger girls.They understood what out rights our regarding nursing and they learned how rude and mean people can be. It upset me more when people showed how backwards they are in front of my little girls; how could a female insult another female in front of two innocent little girls who thought Mommy is only feeding the baby. These woman showed my girls that they ( the women) do not believe in women's rights and how some women act dominant towards others. My oldest girls became very vocal in breastfeeding rights, my oldest called our Mayor's and Governor's office complaining that nursing moms are singled out in city and state buildings and that employees at these buildings need education on breastfeeding and sensitivity training; it fell on deaf ears. We live in a city that is low on breastfeeding moms and there is no one who is willing to band together to demand our rights and our children not be violated. I say violated because when a person is upsetting a mother and causing a scene, the baby cannot eat in those conditions. What kind of person disrupts a nursing mom or stops a baby being nourished? Do they enjoy the attention? The Guard who accosted me had a smirk on her face which I wish I'd slapped it off her face! My two younger girls were stunned and my spouse was pissed. Females should support one another not insult or beat down with her cruel words. As I said before, my city is not big on breastfeeding support so I live in a city that has no education on this matter and since our Female Mayor wouldn't help get the word out or even state that even she may not have nursed but encourage her residents to support moms and state that it is the law and suggest disturbing a feeding mom should be considered an act of rudeness and that it  should be shameful to do so. But nope, she pushed fashion week but not national breastfeeding week. Women who have power and is a person people listen to should educate and get others to do so. 
My grandmother supported me and would never let anyone say anything if I was in her home and though some family members did have opinions, they were not allow to say so in my NaNa's house. Anyone who ever visited my home knew there would be a chance I would nurse during a visit and I never stopped when anyone came without warning. Back to when I was in the hospital; I couldn't nurse or pump anymore do to medications. When I came home, I was assured I could resume nursing once I finished the medicine; I was ecstatic. I prepared my breast, positioned Adam and was ready to go. Imagine my heartbreak when Adam wouldn't nurse and actually fought to break away. I couldn't process how a baby who was an avid nurser would not take nourishment from me anymore. Being gone for a week was like years to Adam, he wasn't close to me and preferred freedom from me; no more cuddling or affection. His Dr. said baby's who are nursed go through a mourning process and Adam had the classic signs but the depression probably turned to anger since Adam most likely thought I abandoned him and that explained why he treated me like a stranger.


I was depressed for 4 months after coming home, I lost weight and looked 10 years older. Between Adam losing weight and his severe constipation, my household was turned upside down. After talking to some lactation nurses and other nursing moms, I slowly returned to my normal self and Adam loved his mommy again. The ladies and Adam's Dr. helped me think of positive thoughts and congratulated me on a great job and to remember, I created that chubby baby and i alone was responsible for his nourishment. They also stated that while he lost a lot weight, it was not my doing and I proved those wrong who claimed babies need more than breast milk to grow and thrive.
I remembered the cuddling, the struggles, the funny things Adam would do while nursing in public and how much we both enjoyed feeding him. I miss the days when Adam was an infant and would lay next to me in the bed and nurse on his side and then sleep away the night. That's another thing, nursing babies may eat more because our milk digests easier but they sleep through the night faster than formula fed babies. I kept Adam next to me in his bassinet and then in his port a crib so when he was done nursing through the night, I could put him right back in his bed.  The bond between us was strong, the closeness was amazing, nursing Adam brought such a peace over me, my family enjoyed when Mommy was relaxed:). 


I will finish off with some thoughts on nursing items and nursing discreetly. You will need nursing bras! They make it much easier to nurse without the possibility to show anything. A light shawl or receiving blanket should do. You don't want to over heat the baby and plus you won't be comfortable nursing if you are sweating. I do not believe in nursing covers, they are too hot, complicated and expensive. I do like those cloth carriers that any size baby can fit in since they adjust well.They are called Moby baby carriers, they come with complete instructions and make it easier for you to cradle baby without his/her head flopping or risk baby getting injured. But never get to confident of these carriers, always support your baby's head, neck and back. You'll eventually find a carrier suited to your taste and comfort. There are also nursing shirts out there but again, expensive and to me they look too complicated. It is not about being fashionable but comfortable in what you are wearing so you don't show what you want to hide. A loose fitting shirt will do. Always make sure the baby's nose is not covered and there is no material around the mouth area. While I was disappointed I wasn't able to wear halter tops and the like( I know some do) but again, I have more summers to dress fancy and fashionable, even though I don't have the boobs I had then:). It's about nursing your child, not showing off your assets. If you have nursed, share your experience with others whether it's good or bad but never ever discourage a woman from nursing. Offer encouragement and support, maybe tag along for moral support when she needs to venture outside her home. If you are planning ( or even thinking about it), do your homework, never listen to those who are against it and if a veteran mom offers you advice, take it but never allow her to tell you are doing it wrong. For answers and support, talk to the lactation nurse at your hospital or WIC office, you can even call your insurance company to see if they offer such a service. Make sure you speak to your family and friends about your choice but never ask for permission or defend your choice. And remember, I didn't start nursing Adam until he was 5 days old, when I was feeling better and relaxed and I had more privacy.
Enjoy what you are doing, it's a lasting bond that when you look back on it, will bring back that same peace and tranquility you felt during your nursing period. One more thing I want to share; last year at my local school board there was a mother there with her baby talking to her friend and just being normal among about 20 other people, I looked away for a second and when I turned back, I happened to notice the baby's feet were kicking under her shirt, I was amazed at how relaxed she was and was still talking to her friend. I told my spouse I wish I had been like her, just normal. My spouse went on to say that she was just talking and the next thing you know, she put the baby on without looking around, didn't ask for privacy and did not ask if those around her minded. This lady just did what she had to do and knew what was needed to be done without fear, nervousness or permission. No one said a word. I was in awe of her discretion and her I don't care attitude.


I hope some of you take something out of my experience and think twice before you disturb a nursing baby, not a nursing mom but a feeding baby.